Some news that I've found rather upsetting recently is that Terry Pratchett has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. I've been enjoying his Discworld novels for years, and Good Omens which he wrote with Neil Gaiman is on my list to read in the very near future. He's been one of the great influences on my own writing, as early on I tried to mimic his style (hey, Hunter S. Thompson was known to have retyped The Great Gatsby numerous times to try and copy Fitzgerald's style). I'm glad that he's facing it with cautious optimism, though. Here's to hoping the optimism pays off and he has many more cognitive years ahead of him.
The turtle moves.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Monday, December 10, 2007
Are Your Pondering What I'm Pondering?
I'm not sure why I'm still up, and I really need to go to bed. Insomnia can be a bitch, but it also gives you time to think. Unfortunately, I'm having one of those night where I can't turn my brain off at all, and it's involuntary insomnia. Trust me, I've voluntarily had insomnia before, so it does and has happened. So I figured I would log in to do a brain dump and see if I can sort of few things out, then maybe I can get a few hours of sleep. The following gets a little emo, but I'll try to keep it to a minimum.
It's one of those nights of reflection. A night where you look back on your life and what it means for the future. When you're alone as much as I've been over the last few months, this happens more than is probably healthy. I really need to find a girlfriend. I think about my job, my continuing education, my living situation, my relationships, my family, and my future. All at the same time. And people wonder where depression comes from. It's a lot simpler than most people think. Depression comes from anger being directed inward from being unable to sort these things out. And when they all hit at once, how the Hell does anyone sort it out? How does one answer all the questions when the answers become so intertwined and convoluted that your own mind becomes a labyrinth of thought and possibilities, but instead of seeing the possibilities, one winds up feeling trapped in their own troubles? Do I stay at my job? Do I go back full time? What is an M.F.A. really going to get me? Can I really have a future as a writer in world that the popular media is continually telling us is becoming more and more illiterate? If I lose my job, how will I support myself, since I'm definitely not a people person, and I hate the whole 9 to 5 bit? Do I just have too much free time on my hands which is leading me to think these things? Am I just being self-centered as usual with the good old only-child syndrome kicking in? Well, the answer to that last part is definitely "yes," since right now I don't have anyone else to worry about but me.
Which in and of itself becomes depressing. I spend way too much time on my own. Admittedly, I partially like it because it gives me time to do the things I want to do, such as reading, writing, playing games, etc. The problem is that I don't really spend this time doing those things, and I have a tendency just sit and watch TV or movies, or surf the internet for...certain things to "alleviate" the loneliness. But would having someone to care for really help put things into perspective or just add another worry? Hard to say, but at least it would be different, and with the right girl at least maybe I wouldn't feel like I'm going through these things alone.
I've had a few other thoughts (there goes one now!), but their one more specific subjects that I'll post about later. Their interesting thoughts and potential plans, but I think they need a little more time to cook before they're served.
On a final note, what the fuck is up with The Amber Spyglass? It seemed to be going really well, but what seemed like it was supposed to be the big climactic battle seemed to end a long time before the book finishes, and it feels like these last 80 or so pages are just dragging. I can't believe I'm getting hung up on children's/young adult's book like this. Hopefully, it has a good pay off at the end. At least I'm finally reading what made me so curious ten years ago as I watch the second book flying off the bookstore shelves. I need to keep up on my reading better. Maybe I should cancel my cable service...
It's one of those nights of reflection. A night where you look back on your life and what it means for the future. When you're alone as much as I've been over the last few months, this happens more than is probably healthy. I really need to find a girlfriend. I think about my job, my continuing education, my living situation, my relationships, my family, and my future. All at the same time. And people wonder where depression comes from. It's a lot simpler than most people think. Depression comes from anger being directed inward from being unable to sort these things out. And when they all hit at once, how the Hell does anyone sort it out? How does one answer all the questions when the answers become so intertwined and convoluted that your own mind becomes a labyrinth of thought and possibilities, but instead of seeing the possibilities, one winds up feeling trapped in their own troubles? Do I stay at my job? Do I go back full time? What is an M.F.A. really going to get me? Can I really have a future as a writer in world that the popular media is continually telling us is becoming more and more illiterate? If I lose my job, how will I support myself, since I'm definitely not a people person, and I hate the whole 9 to 5 bit? Do I just have too much free time on my hands which is leading me to think these things? Am I just being self-centered as usual with the good old only-child syndrome kicking in? Well, the answer to that last part is definitely "yes," since right now I don't have anyone else to worry about but me.
Which in and of itself becomes depressing. I spend way too much time on my own. Admittedly, I partially like it because it gives me time to do the things I want to do, such as reading, writing, playing games, etc. The problem is that I don't really spend this time doing those things, and I have a tendency just sit and watch TV or movies, or surf the internet for...certain things to "alleviate" the loneliness. But would having someone to care for really help put things into perspective or just add another worry? Hard to say, but at least it would be different, and with the right girl at least maybe I wouldn't feel like I'm going through these things alone.
I've had a few other thoughts (there goes one now!), but their one more specific subjects that I'll post about later. Their interesting thoughts and potential plans, but I think they need a little more time to cook before they're served.
On a final note, what the fuck is up with The Amber Spyglass? It seemed to be going really well, but what seemed like it was supposed to be the big climactic battle seemed to end a long time before the book finishes, and it feels like these last 80 or so pages are just dragging. I can't believe I'm getting hung up on children's/young adult's book like this. Hopefully, it has a good pay off at the end. At least I'm finally reading what made me so curious ten years ago as I watch the second book flying off the bookstore shelves. I need to keep up on my reading better. Maybe I should cancel my cable service...
Friday, December 7, 2007
Match your Daemon
I thought this was kind of cool. Having just read most of the His Dark Materials trilogy and now being familiar with The Golden Compass, I took the test on The Golden Compass movie website to match my daemon (if you don't know what I'm talking about, go read the books; they're quick). Meet Hypatia, my spider daemon:
I've always been fascinated by these kind of tests for some reason, although I use the term "test" loosely. Check out your own daemon here.
I've always been fascinated by these kind of tests for some reason, although I use the term "test" loosely. Check out your own daemon here.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Remember, remember, the month of November
NaNoWriMo didn't go as well as I had hoped. Unfortunately, I should have known how easily distracted I get, and I wound up watching far more TV than I should have during my leave from work. Combined with my need to start reading more, World of Warcraft (which I actually haven't been playing that much lately; good or bad, I'm not sure yet), watching movies, the release of Mass Effect and generally goofing around, I haven't been devoting as much time to my writing as I wanted to. I wound up finishing 2,310 words out of the necessary 50K. It was basically the prologue of the novel. And I think I came up with a really good idea for once, something I would not usually say about my own work. Am I just scared of committing myself to this by burying myself in distraction?
Well, no more. I've started taking steps in the right direction today. I cancelled a large chunk of my cable service (mostly the premium channels). I didn't cancel the whole thing because I feel TV has become a necessary part of life in our society if you are going to keep up with what everyone else is talking about. Pop culture and stuff. You know, for kids. But the stuff that's been taking a lot of time (i.e., movies and shows on the premium channels) are now gone. Hopefully that will leave me significantly more time to read and write, and pursue more fruitful endeavors.
I'm working my way through His Dark Materials. Yes, it is obviously intended for younger audiences, but I was curious. Well, at least it's not taking that long to read. I truly have to wonder how they are going to work this into a movie with the outcry from religious groups that is sure to and is currently happening. The first book, not so much, but if they turn the other books into movies, that's going to be hard to do. Pullman has come up with a really great world and I like is twists on characters, situations, and he definitely has a good imagination. The only problem seems to be his writing style. His prose sometimes feels very stilted and doesn't flow terribly well, which sometimes make me trip over myself as I read down the page. Still, it's not bad, and for a children's book it's actually rather enjoyable, even if a little dark and violent for children's book.
Well, no more. I've started taking steps in the right direction today. I cancelled a large chunk of my cable service (mostly the premium channels). I didn't cancel the whole thing because I feel TV has become a necessary part of life in our society if you are going to keep up with what everyone else is talking about. Pop culture and stuff. You know, for kids. But the stuff that's been taking a lot of time (i.e., movies and shows on the premium channels) are now gone. Hopefully that will leave me significantly more time to read and write, and pursue more fruitful endeavors.
I'm working my way through His Dark Materials. Yes, it is obviously intended for younger audiences, but I was curious. Well, at least it's not taking that long to read. I truly have to wonder how they are going to work this into a movie with the outcry from religious groups that is sure to and is currently happening. The first book, not so much, but if they turn the other books into movies, that's going to be hard to do. Pullman has come up with a really great world and I like is twists on characters, situations, and he definitely has a good imagination. The only problem seems to be his writing style. His prose sometimes feels very stilted and doesn't flow terribly well, which sometimes make me trip over myself as I read down the page. Still, it's not bad, and for a children's book it's actually rather enjoyable, even if a little dark and violent for children's book.
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